Welcome!

My last short fiction instructor told us not to write about cancer. "It's been done," she said. Well, the hell with that. I learned in the last three weeks that I have stage III breast cancer. Writing, painting, and assorted other arts are how I process stuff, in addition, of course, to long conversations with friends. These conversations have begun in earnest these recent days, but I realized my Facebook page in particular was in danger of becoming a medical-update site. I do not want that. My life is still going to be about more than cancer, as much as that may not seem possible right now. Also, I don't want to alienate friends who are not ready to walk this particular valley with me at this time. For example, one elderly friend who called to cheer me up this week can't even handle the "c-word," and there is no way she will be up for any truly frank discussion of what's about to happen here. So she is advised to keep in touch with me via Facebook. People who are comfortable with the c-word, honest discussion and occasional cursing are welcome to join me here.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Reconstruction progress!


                I wanted to update you on my main reconstruction surgery, which happened almost two weeks ago now.  Time flies when you are taking drugs! Seriously, though, I stopped taking the drugs pretty fast.  The pain just wasn’t that bad, and the drugs made me think I had scorpions in my hair. I am now back to the occasional Advil and a glass of wine, and am scorpion-free. It’s sore, but nothing I can’t handle. Getting my last wisdom tooth out was a whole lot worse. I was worried about getting some sort of terrible post-op infection or something, which one of my friends did following her reconstruction, but everything went fine.  Thank you all for your prayers!

                The day I was diagnosed with cancer back in March 2011, or maybe the day after, a friend of mine who did this whole miserable trip a couple years ahead of me told me they can work miracles with the plastic surgery, nowadays.  Of all the things I could be worrying about, she said, I shouldn’t worry about my physical appearance at the end of the day, because they could fix it.  In fact, she told me, if we weren’t at a P.T.A. meeting at that moment, which we were, she would whip them out and show me just how happy the girls could be in the end!  I replied that was not necessary, I could take her word for it, but I was very, very encouraged to hear it.  In later months, I hung onto her words and would tell myself, things might look pretty atrocious right now, but we are going to fix them.

                Well, fix them we did.  Or, at least we are well on our way.  I had outpatient surgery on Sept. 19.  The surgery took about three hours. On the right side, where I had the mastectomy, they replaced the temporary “tissue expander” with a regular old implant.  The other side, they just reduced and hoisted everything up to the same level as the other one.

                I am amazed at how much better things look and feel already. The tissue expander felt pretty much like a cannon ball in there, or maybe a duckpin bowling ball.  The new implant feels like you would want a breast to feel.  Yay! The metal parts are gone, so I can now have my regular M.R.I. to make sure nothing wacky is growing in there. And my boob will no longer set off the T.S.A. metal detectors when I get on an airplane, which will be nice to never have to explain to a T.S.A. man again.

                I am awestruck by the artistry of my surgeon, Dr. Kathy Huang.  She had to visualize where the one side would end up after one kind of procedure, and then imagine where the other side ought to end up, following a completely different procedure, and then execute.  And she did!  The symmetry she achieved is more than I had hoped for.  Oh, it all still looks pretty terrible, because of bruising and swelling and stitches and such.  So don’t worry about me posting any embarrassing inappropriate photos here anytime soon. But I can see where it is all headed, and it is headed toward a good place.

                Recently, a photographer called David Jay has promoted something called The SCAR Project.  He makes beautiful portraits of young women with breast cancer, scars and all.  The portraits are very powerful and many are very beautiful. But I was struck, reading the online comments people have left on some of them, by how much some people were put off by the scars.  Some of the saddest comments came from women, and there was one that horrified me, from a woman who said she would rather die of breast cancer than have her body scarred like that. It broke my heart that she thought those were her only two options. They are not. I want people to know that.

                Anybody that is reading this who is facing breast cancer themselves, or in their family, know this:  you can ask your plastic surgeon to see some of his or her before-and-after pictures.  They should have a portfolio of them to show you. Or, in a few months, I will have some of my own that I would be willing to share if it would help.  Yes, you can look decent again.

                Now, I have two more “procedures” to go.  In a few months, they install a nipple on there.  How this works, I do not know, but it sounds like it involves human embroidery, or a combination of embroidery and  origami?  They have promised to knock me out again so I don’t have to watch whatever they do. 

                A few months later still, the other procedure involves a tattoo artist. It might also involve a bunch of wine, on my part, or maybe worse. My brother tells me that traditionally, you get drunk and then decide to get a tattoo, not the other way around.  But I do not personally want to be mentally present while they stick needles in me, repeatedly, in my nipple, for God’s sake. As it happens, when you have a mastectomy, there comes a point on the morning of the surgery when they have to inject you with radioactive isotopes so they can find all your lymph nodes. Unfortunately, they have to do this several times, right in your nipple, with absolutely no pain medication because that interferes with the way things flow. They don’t tell you about this in advance, because it hurts like hell and they know it, and they can’t do anything about that. Those were probably the most painful physical moments of this whole stupid process, for me, so far.  So, when I get tattooed, I plan to be comfortably numb, one way or another. Negotiations continue on this point.

                I do get to start doing limited, non-bouncy forms of exercise today.  Yay!  It will be another couple of weeks before I can do weights or run.  But we’re getting there!

 My plastic surgeon, who is an artist and a genius, Dr. Kathy Huang

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