Welcome!

My last short fiction instructor told us not to write about cancer. "It's been done," she said. Well, the hell with that. I learned in the last three weeks that I have stage III breast cancer. Writing, painting, and assorted other arts are how I process stuff, in addition, of course, to long conversations with friends. These conversations have begun in earnest these recent days, but I realized my Facebook page in particular was in danger of becoming a medical-update site. I do not want that. My life is still going to be about more than cancer, as much as that may not seem possible right now. Also, I don't want to alienate friends who are not ready to walk this particular valley with me at this time. For example, one elderly friend who called to cheer me up this week can't even handle the "c-word," and there is no way she will be up for any truly frank discussion of what's about to happen here. So she is advised to keep in touch with me via Facebook. People who are comfortable with the c-word, honest discussion and occasional cursing are welcome to join me here.

Monday, July 15, 2013

July update

                It has been a while since I have posted, because there hasn’t been much going on on the cancer side of things. I can now give you a quick update.
                I have been having some nasty pain in my hands and knees, and we had thought that it might be a side effect of one of my medications, Tamoxifen. When I saw my oncologist recently, I told him it was still very bothersome. I asked him when we might start investigating to make sure something worse wasn’t going on, specifically rheumatoid arthritis or some such thing.  “Now,” he said, and he sent me off to a big-shot rheumatologist.
                I am happy to report that I don’t have rheumatoid arthritis. Nor is it a side effect of the tamoxifen. What I have in my hands is good old-fashioned osteoarthritis, like my grandma had. Only, I am 50 and she was a lot older than that. But if I live to be 101 like she did, my hands are going to be a mess. I have bought mass quantities of Aleve. Life goes on.
                The knees are another story. My left knee is giving me all kinds of problems. As it turns out, the problem there is not arthritis at all, but something involving my kneecap being in the wrong place. Ouch! This problem is apparently very common and is not fixed with drugs but with lots of physical therapy. This will commence in August. The only bright side is:  in the meantime, I am strictly forbidden from doing squats, lunges and other things like that where my knee makes me want to scream in pain. My doctor circled this in red ink and drew arrows around it. My trainer, Mija, is grumpy about this.She enjoys making me do squats very much. Oh well.
                Now, when I saw my oncologist, the other thing he had said was, it really was time for me to get a colonoscopy. He said that is one test that is known to save many many lives. Period.
                 I had had one several years back, when one of my brothers was diagnosed with colon cancer, and my test then came back clean. But I turned 50 this year. And it seems that my immune system is slacking at the cellular level,  which can lead to not only breast cancer but skin cancer, colon cancer, etc. So the oncologist wanted it done. Last week, I bit the bullet and did it. The results came back clean. But they want me back in five years, not the usual ten.
                 Here is a picture of all the stuff they make you chug before a colonoscopy. It made my Weight Watchers number very happy the next day, I can report:



                The one part that was a bummer was trying to get an IV in my poor arm. Since all the chemotherapy two years ago, my veins don’t cooperate any more. It took two nurses and an anesthesiologist a total of six tries to get an IV going. Twice, they started one only to have it fail, and they had to do it again. By the end of that performance, I was crying and shaking. Here is what my arm looks like, a week later:
I am here to tell you the colonoscopy itself was nothing. Even the prep wasn't too bad. If you are supposed to get one, GO GET ONE! I can't tell you how much easier a colonoscopy is than chemotherapy. Just do it.